The Sex Crier

Perhaps from reading this site you’ve gotten the impression that Internet dating is just one disastrously awkward first date after another. Not true! Sometimes there’s a disastrously awkward second, third, and fourth date as well. And, if you’re really lucky, on rare occasion you may achieve a full-fledged disastrously awkward long-term relationship! But that’s only if you reallllllly apply yourself. Thankfully, on one or two occasions, I have been so determined…

I met the Sex Crier on a rare two-date evening. It’s something I try to avoid, but if scheduling becomes difficult or I’m particularly eager to meet someone and feel like I can’t wait another day (I know, I’m unimaginably romantic), I will plan two dates on the same night. It’s not a great idea, but if you stick to the Two Drink Rule it can be done. Just avoid telling the same stories or jokes to both of your dates, because no matter how big a cad you are, somewhere deep inside your soul will break. But Sex Crier was the second date on a two-date evening, and within minutes she blew the first woman entirely out of memory.

I still remember what she was wearing and even what she smelled like, in as unserial-killer a way as possible. I had to talk her into the date, as she was reluctant to date a smoker and an actor, and I was guilty of both. She was an actress too, you see, and she felt the two didn’t mix. Boy was she wrong. Us being actors had nothing to do with us not getting along. It was the more the constant 100% insanity that did it.

Don’t believe it was insane? Read my new book Not a Match: My True Tales of Online Dating Disasters. I promise, it won’t disappoint. Includes all of the most popular It’s Not a Match stories ever.

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7 Responses to The Sex Crier

  1. Denise says:

    It’s good to know it’s not just the guys on match dot com who are crazy… although, I’ve not been able to tolerate it for much more than a few dates before I pull the, “I just don’t think we’re a good match” card.

    Go internet for finding a competely inhuman generalized email to send to people we’re not interested in!

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  6. R says:

    She sounds like she has BPD.

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