Category Archives: Internet Dating is Weird

Guess What? Your Dating Profile is Breaking the Law!

What’s up, soon-to-be convicted felons? It turns out that you and I (but mostly you) are criminals, as it is apparently illegal to lie in your dating profile. A law written in…wait for it…1984 makes it a federal offense to … Continue reading

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Posted in Internet Dating is Weird | 7 Comments

What a Normal Person Would Do On ‘The Bachelorette’

Of all the reality franchises, it’s difficult to compete with The Bachelor and Bachelorette when it comes to idiocy. I mean, imagine you’re in a bar and the hostess walks up to you and says, “I know you’re enjoying your drinks, but I … Continue reading

Posted in Internet Dating is Weird | 2 Comments

Why Do Daters Pull The Fade Out?

We’ve all had it happen at least once. You’re dating someone and things seem to be moving at a perfectly nice clip. You see each other once a week or so, hooking up here and there, and generally having an … Continue reading

Posted in Advice, Internet Dating is Weird | 57 Comments

How to Cook Dinner For Your Date in 25 EASY Steps

As we’ve said many times, you should not/must not/can not go to dinner on a first internet date. It’s expensive, takes too long, and locks you in for an hour with someone you might want to murder before the Bloomin … Continue reading

Posted in Advice, Internet Dating is Weird | 4 Comments

Meeting in a Bar vs. Meeting Online: The Ultimate Showdown

A group of psychologists recently released a study that says meeting a date in a bar can be far more effective than encountering someone online. Which is great news, because it clearly means we’ve cured all mental illness, otherwise why would … Continue reading

Posted in Advice, How is This My Match?, Internet Dating is Weird | 10 Comments

Why Are All These Men Posing with Monkeys?!

Loyal readers (which better fucking describe all of you pricks) will remember a scorching expose we did last spring about the bizarre trend of women posting profiles pics of themselves wearing mustaches. OK, you probably don’t remember it. I mean, … Continue reading

Posted in Internet Dating is Weird | 18 Comments

11 Lies Everyone Tells on an Internet Date

1) “Sure, I’d love to have another drink!” The vast majority of internet dates should end after cocktail #1. Like, 90% of them. But for some reason that feels rude. Your date’s expression says “I’d rather be watching my DVR!”, … Continue reading

Posted in Internet Dating is Weird | 20 Comments

The Worst Things to Do on a First Date

You guys keep emailing me and asking what’s the best thing to do on the first date. And I appreciate it, I really do. It’s nice to wake up in the morning and see so many messages in the It’s … Continue reading

Posted in Advice, Internet Dating is Weird | 18 Comments

Tinder: The Newest and Most Annoying Way to Internet Date

Have you ever felt like internet dating contains too much information. Like, you finish reading someone’s profile and think, “You know, I feel like I almost know them too well. Is there any way we can put some mystery back … Continue reading

Posted in Internet Dating is Weird | 12 Comments

The Time I Created a Fake Woman’s Profile…

Internet dating is pretty much made for the ladies, right? All you’ve got to do is throw up a couple of pictures, string together a few sentences that aren’t totally cliche, and wait for the emails to come rolling in. … Continue reading

Posted in Internet Dating is Weird | 16 Comments