Author Archives: B

The Worst Profile Headlines Ever

Posted on April 6, 2011 by B

Not all dating sites require their members to write headlines, but they should.  They’re the first thing you see when looking at a person’s profile, and a good headline can sum things up quickly. “Busy Stockbroker Looking for My Girl … Continue reading →

Posted in Internet Dating is Weird | 13 Comments

The Girl Who Liked My Work

Posted on April 1, 2011 by B

I’m not famous. Perhaps that’s not necessary for an anonymous blogger who writes about his consistently sad and frequently embarrassing love life to point out. I mean, presumably, if I was like…Harrison Ford, I wouldn’t be doing this. I wouldn’t … Continue reading →

Posted in Horror Stories | 7 Comments

Women vs. Short Guys: Dating’s Fiercest Battleground

Posted on March 29, 2011 by B

Short Guy #1: The problem is that women don’t want to date me because I’m too short. Short Guy #2: I know, me too! Short Guy #1: I mean, it’s not even like I’m that short. Short Guy #2: Yeah, … Continue reading →

Posted in Internet Dating is Weird | 355 Comments

Your Awful Story Olympics III

Posted on March 23, 2011 by B

Received one of my all-time favorite emails today. From a Vlad507104, with no picture, but any woman named Vlad has got to be a looker, right? (S)he writes… Are you online now? I am so sorry I don’t remember you … Continue reading →

Posted in Your Awful Stories | 7 Comments

The Girl Who Hated Jews

Posted on March 18, 2011 by B

I wouldn’t say I’m pessimistic about Internet dates. I prefer…realistic. I recognize that most of them are going nowhere, so I don’t really do the whole getting-excited-about-people-I-meet thing. Anyone can look good after two drinks and a couple of their … Continue reading →

Posted in Horror Stories | 11 Comments

Advice from the Idiot: Your Questions Answered!

Posted on March 16, 2011 by B

You keep writing and asking for my advice on how to Internet date successfully. I don’t know what more I have to do to convince you that I am not the person for this task. Last week, a girl I’ve … Continue reading →

Posted in Advice, Your Awful Stories | 5 Comments

Internet Dating: Who Has It Worse, Men or Women?

Posted on March 10, 2011 by B

Internet dating is pretty much made for the ladies, right? All you’ve got to do is throw up a couple of pictures, string together a few sentences that aren’t totally cliche, and wait for the emails to come rolling in. … Continue reading →

Posted in Internet Dating is Weird | 46 Comments

The Girl I Called Helga

Posted on March 8, 2011 by B

I used to play this very charming game where I would guess a woman’s name. Most people, you see, don’t go with “KathyB” or “ShellyFunTimes” when selecting a screen name for their online dating profile (though I would admittedly love … Continue reading →

Posted in Horror Stories | 5 Comments

The Perfect Internet Date Bar

Posted on March 2, 2011 by B

There are several bars in the greater New York area than I can’t go in anymore. In some cases, it’s court sanctioned. I’m prohibited from getting into details, but I will say that the law takes a far dimmer view … Continue reading →

Posted in Advice | 5 Comments

The Girl In The Reindeer Sweater

Posted on February 24, 2011 by B

There are people who can pull off seasonal clothing, I think we can all agree on that. Babies, grandmas, little kids who get forced into it by their parents who want to take pictures that will subtly mock them for … Continue reading →

Posted in Horror Stories | 7 Comments