Do You Hate/Love/Hate Food, Too? Buy My NEW BOOK!
Own The Bestselling Not a Match BOOK!
Donate to It’s Not a Match!
Like IT’S NOT A MATCH ON FACEBOOK
Join 375 other subscribers
- My book is not available in print. With paper and everything! Stock for Christmas 2016. fb.me/7xzT61bHr 7 years ago
- My book Not a Match is now available in print! With real pages and everything. Never too early for Xmas shopping! amazon.com/gp/product/069… 7 years ago
- A print version of Not a Match is coming. Try not to riot out of excitement!!! 7 years ago
Email It’s Not a MatchHave a horrifying Internet dating experience you'd like to share?
Or looking for (bad) answers to your Internet dating dilemmas?
- Advice (45)
- Horror Stories (31)
- How is This My Match? (17)
- Internet Dating is Weird (37)
- It's Not a Match Classic (6)
- Notes From the Underground (1)
- Reader Submissions (3)
- Uncategorized (9)
- Your Awful Stories (21)
The Only Place to Get My Classic Stories
Author Archives: B
How to Cook Dinner For Your Date in 25 EASY Steps
As we’ve said many times, you should not/must not/can not go to dinner on a first internet date. It’s expensive, takes too long, and locks you in for an hour with someone you might want to murder before the Bloomin … Continue reading
Posted in Advice, Internet Dating is Weird 4 Comments
How is This My Match: Anal Sex Edition
You know that feeling you have when you’re separated from your cellphone for an extended period of time? Like, maybe the battery dies and you don’t have your charger, or you leave for work in the morning and accidentally leave … Continue reading
Posted in How is This My Match? 10 Comments
Meeting in a Bar vs. Meeting Online: The Ultimate Showdown
A group of psychologists recently released a study that says meeting a date in a bar can be far more effective than encountering someone online. Which is great news, because it clearly means we’ve cured all mental illness, otherwise why would … Continue reading
You Know What’s a Good Idea? Condoms. Especially with Internet Dates. Seriously…
It’s always a fascinating experience, having sex with someone new. There may be things you’ve done with others that they don’t like at all. Or approaches you’ve never even considered that they can’t live without. Then of course there’s all … Continue reading
Posted in Horror Stories 7 Comments
Why Are All These Men Posing with Monkeys?!
Loyal readers (which better fucking describe all of you pricks) will remember a scorching expose we did last spring about the bizarre trend of women posting profiles pics of themselves wearing mustaches. OK, you probably don’t remember it. I mean, … Continue reading
Posted in Internet Dating is Weird 18 Comments
Your Awful Stories: Three Tales of Assholes
There are myriad ways that men can act like assholes on an internet date. They can call you the wrong name, ditch you for a clearly fake emergency, or just maybe just barf all over the place. Hell, there are … Continue reading
Posted in Your Awful Stories 12 Comments
Is Bad Grammar a Dating Dealbreaker?
Its my first time writing a profile, but I guess I’ll give it a shot… Your gonna laugh when I tell you this, but my favorite thing to do on Friday night’s is play Scrabble! Their is this amazing pizza … Continue reading
Posted in Advice 78 Comments
11 Lies Everyone Tells on an Internet Date
1) “Sure, I’d love to have another drink!” The vast majority of internet dates should end after cocktail #1. Like, 90% of them. But for some reason that feels rude. Your date’s expression says “I’d rather be watching my DVR!”, … Continue reading
Posted in Internet Dating is Weird 20 Comments
The Worst Things to Do on a First Date
You guys keep emailing me and asking what’s the best thing to do on the first date. And I appreciate it, I really do. It’s nice to wake up in the morning and see so many messages in the It’s … Continue reading
Posted in Advice, Internet Dating is Weird 19 Comments
Tinder: The Newest and Most Annoying Way to Internet Date
Have you ever felt like internet dating contains too much information. Like, you finish reading someone’s profile and think, “You know, I feel like I almost know them too well. Is there any way we can put some mystery back … Continue reading
Posted in Internet Dating is Weird 13 Comments