Author Archives: B

Your Awful Story Olympics V

Posted on May 27, 2011 by B

As we embark on Memorial Day weekend, what better time to look back and remember the horrible dates of our past? Well, your past, actually. The horrible dates of my past are far too numerous to confine to one weekend. … Continue reading →

Posted in Your Awful Stories | 5 Comments

Internet Dating Etiquette: Who Should I Respond To?

Posted on May 25, 2011 by B

The other night, a friend presented a common Internet dating dilemma. He had gotten an email from a girl he liked OK, but wasn’t crazy about. She lived far away, had a mediocre profile, wasn’t particularly witty, but had written him a … Continue reading →

Posted in Advice | 6 Comments

Hook Chas Up: A Wife for $10,000?

Posted on May 17, 2011 by B

There is a man named Chas who is offering $10,000 to anyone who can find him a wife. That may be the douchiest sentence ever written about a human being, but, really, it’s true. Not just that there’s actually a … Continue reading →

Posted in Internet Dating is Weird | 6 Comments

The Girl Who Couldn’t Kiss

Posted on May 12, 2011 by B

Woody Allen once said there’s no such thing as bad sex, which would mean a lot more if it was coming from someone who hadn’t slept with unduly beautiful and talented women his entire life. I mean, if someone let … Continue reading →

Posted in Horror Stories | 7 Comments

Internet Dating: Safety First!!!

Posted on May 3, 2011 by B

As we all know, Internet dating can be a risky endeavor, and not just romantically. I mean, it’s one of the few romantic pursuits where ending up stabbed is a realistic possibility, so it’s wise to take care. To this … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | 11 Comments

The Girl Who Tried To Steal My Baby

Posted on April 28, 2011 by B

It’s always a fascinating experience, having sex with someone new. There may be things you’ve done with others that they don’t like at all. Or approaches you’ve never even considered that they can’t live without. Then of course there’s all … Continue reading →

Posted in Horror Stories | 4 Comments

Your Awful Story Olympics IV

Posted on April 26, 2011 by B

You think it’s hard picking up a girl in English, try doing it in another language. I had the good fortune this weekend to find myself across from a fetching young girl from Belgium and a very normal New York … Continue reading →

Posted in Your Awful Stories | 4 Comments

Profile of an Asshole

Posted on April 20, 2011 by B

I can’t even begin to guess how many Internet dating profiles I’ve read. Probably thousands. (It seems I can begin to guess.) I’ve seen all the techniques. Some try to grab the reader’s attention by being funny, firing off a … Continue reading →

Posted in Internet Dating is Weird | 5 Comments

The Girl Who Drank Too Much

Posted on April 15, 2011 by B

Dating without drinking alcohol is a little like working out in your dress shoes. You can do it, but you’re gonna look like an asshole. As I’ve told you before, no first date should ever exceed two drinks, but I see … Continue reading →

Posted in Horror Stories | 5 Comments

How to Get Out of a Bad Date

Posted on April 12, 2011 by B

We’ve all been there. Staring across the table at someone who’s insisting that they’re happy at H&R Block, but thinks that this X Factor audition on Saturday could be the start of something big. Sure, they’ve only sung in front … Continue reading →

Posted in Advice | 16 Comments