Author Archives: B

Your Awful Story Olympics VIII

Posted on September 23, 2011 by B

Great work this month, gang. Your lives are really fucked up, and I appreciate that so much. Thanks for being you. The worst thing that happened to my beloved readers this month… The Bronze Hey B, your site cracks me … Continue reading →

Posted in Your Awful Stories | Leave a comment

How is This My Match? Los Angeles Edition

Posted on September 20, 2011 by B

As you may have heard, I’m moving to California. Los Angeles, to be exact. I know, I know, you’re upset. I understand, we’ve come a long way, you and I. But believe me, no one is taking this harder than … Continue reading →

Posted in How is This My Match? | 2 Comments

The Girl Who Did Heroin

Posted on September 16, 2011 by B

There are two ways you can handle a date after you realize you’re not a match. You can shut it down, giving this person you will never see again as little energy and effort as humanly possible, or you can … Continue reading →

Posted in Horror Stories | 5 Comments

It’s Not a Match Travels…

Posted on September 4, 2011 by B

We’ll be dark for a little while, kids, as It’s Not a Match moves to…Los Angeles! Crazy but true. More to come, but it may take a week or so. Until then, enjoy one of my old favorites, The Sex … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

How is This My Match? Vol 5

Posted on August 26, 2011 by B

Friends who have been dating on Match for an extended period of time insist that, at a certain point, you run out of new people to email. You see the same faces in each search, and have the feeling with … Continue reading →

Posted in How is This My Match? | 5 Comments

Top 10 Topics to Avoid on a First Date

Posted on August 23, 2011 by B

Last week, I gave you the one topic of conversation that can turn any date awesome. And yes, it did involve having sex with dead people. This week, however, I’m giving you the opposite: ten things that will make a … Continue reading →

Posted in Advice | 1 Comment

Web Dating 101: Always Trust the Worst Picture

Posted on August 9, 2011 by B

Let’s say you’re going out on a date with Meg Ryan, but have no idea what she looks like. Maybe you’re not a big movie person, or maybe you’re not a big shitty movie person, but the point is, you … Continue reading →

Posted in Advice | 8 Comments

How is This My Match? Vol 4

Posted on August 3, 2011 by B

This weekend, The Financial Times and Slate got together to praise Match for its fancy-shmancy compatibility algorithms. (Thanks to loyal reader Andrew who sent along the tip!) Read it if you wish, but the basic thrust of the piece is “I know … Continue reading →

Posted in How is This My Match? | 13 Comments

Your Awful Story Olympics VII

Posted on July 26, 2011 by B

Honestly, I don’t know what to do. For seven months we’ve done the Awful Story Olympics, and for seven months we’ve had definitive Gold, Silver, and Bronze medal winners. And by “winners”, I mean people got to see a picture … Continue reading →

Posted in Your Awful Stories | 6 Comments

Top Ten Signs Your Internet Date is a Russian Prostitute

Posted on July 20, 2011 by B

A common misconception about Internet dating is that many of the women are actually prostitutes looking for customers, but that’s not true. In reality, most of the women are prostitutes looking for customers, so you better get good at picking … Continue reading →

Posted in Internet Dating is Weird | 10 Comments