Author Archives: B

Your Awful Story Olympics, Volume 1

Posted on January 18, 2011 by B

My site was up for exactly one day before I got my first email from a reader who wanted to share their online dating disaster. It’s started a sort of competition – who can out-horror who, and the emails have … Continue reading →

Posted in Your Awful Stories | 1 Comment

Every Internet Dating Profile Ever

Posted on January 12, 2011 by B

There’s really only one rule to follow when you’re creating a profile for a online dating: Be Different. OK…wait, no, there’s two rules. Be Different, and Avoid Hardcore Racial Slurs. Alright three rules. Just three. Be Different, Avoid Hardcore Racial … Continue reading →

Posted in Advice | 13 Comments

Crafting the Perfect Email

Posted on January 7, 2011 by B

When I joined Match.com a few years ago, it was for one girl: Shadoe987. Sweet sweet Shadoe987. So lovely, so innocent, so eccentric in her spelling choices. I had taken a half-hearted swing at Match a few years previous, so … Continue reading →

Posted in Advice | 36 Comments

It’s Not a Match will return…

Posted on December 28, 2010 by B

After the New Year. Check back next week for a story about my Internet dating past coming back to bite me…on national television. I told you I was an idiot…

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

The Sex Crier

Posted on December 10, 2010 by B

Perhaps from reading this site you’ve gotten the impression that Internet dating is just one disastrously awkward first date after another. Not true! Sometimes there’s a disastrously awkward second, third, and fourth date as well. And, if you’re really lucky, … Continue reading →

Posted in Horror Stories | 7 Comments

Advice From The Idiot: Should I Pay For a Dating Site?

Posted on December 10, 2010 by B

Common Mistake: you’re not sure if Internet dating is for you, but you wanna give it a shot. Somehow, it seems, the current routine of going to bars and talking only to your friends has failed to yield romantic results. … Continue reading →

Posted in Advice | 7 Comments

Notes From The Underground: The Girl Who Peed Her Pants

Posted on December 7, 2010 by B

The ideal number of drinks on a first Internet date is two. Got that? Just TWO, you boozehounds. One drink is not enough, it just doesn’t give you enough time to get to know the person and see if you … Continue reading →

Posted in Advice, Notes From the Underground | 19 Comments

How Much Should I Lie in My Dating Profile?

Posted on December 2, 2010 by B

Periodically on this site we will offer advice, because I’ve found unfailingly that when people find out I’ve done a bit of Internet dating, they have things they want explained. Which is fine as long as they understand, as I … Continue reading →

Posted in Advice | 5 Comments

The Internet: Where Crazy People Go to Date

Posted on November 30, 2010 by B

I have been out on dates, friends, and they have come from the Internet. I’ve been on dates with doctors and nurses, students and teachers, athletes and academics. I’ve been out with black women, white women, short women, tall women, … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments

The Beginning of the End: My First Internet Date

Posted on November 29, 2010 by B

Everyone thinks about Internet dating, right? But you’re afraid you’ll only meet weirdos, or psychopaths, or people who lie about their physical appearance. And I, as a certified Internet Dating Expert, just want to tell the people with those fears…that … Continue reading →

Posted in Horror Stories | 11 Comments